When it comes to marriage, life commitment, one should be confident about all the aspects of their partner. Whether because of shyness, lack of interest or a desire to preserve the romantic mystery, many couples do not ask the basic questions that can help one to build a strong foundation for their stable marriage. Sure, there can be plenty of questions one can ask their partners before tying the knot to help ensure a good fit but let’s face it, most don’t. Below are some issues that you may not have thought about, but you must before getting married. Don’t put on blinders when it comes to compatibility. Even the deepest form of love can’t prevent certain conflicts over decades of living together. The following questions, intimate and sometimes awkward, are designs to spark honest discussions and possibly give couples a chance to spill secrets before it is too late.
1. How do we individually and collectively handle stress?
What’s your partner when they are stuck in traffic? When they have had a bad performance review? When they haven’t had enough sleep, when their parents have a health issue, or when they have to call customer service for a defective product? Often the rosy period of early romance has everyone preventing themselves to be on their normal behaviour and to show them the best. This makes the early days of marriage sweeter, of course, but it denies us a glimpse into who they are under pressure. The most important thing is how the two of you handle stress alone or together- do you isolate or connect to resolve things as a team?
2. Am I physically as well as emotionally attracted towards my partner?
Deciding to marry someone should never be solely based on their physical appearance. But, you should make sure that you are physically attracted to your partner. If not, you would end up being unhappy with your partner’s physical appearance, which could lead to other problems too. One should be connected to their partner both mentally and should always support each other in times of hardships. If one of the partners is unable to make a decision with a stable mind, it is the duty of the partner to help and make it easier, for them to conclude with a confidant decision. This is known as emotional attraction. If there is no physical as well as emotional attraction between two people they can also be treated as strangers rather than a couple.
3. How are we as roommates and can I live with him/her forever?
“We are living like roommates, rather than lovers” is often used as an example of how a relationship has lost its spark, and indeed it is not a good thing when your partner feels no different than a stranger. But, I would argue that getting along as roommates, though not sufficient for marriage, is vital and necessary. You should make sure that you are ready for a life-long commitment. Over the course of your married life, you both will grow old. Therefore, you should be able to think for a forever. Being committed to each other will help you thrive as a married couple, and also become a better person.
4. Do we both share compatible interests, attitudes and values?
There is nothing more encouraging than being in a marriage with someone who understands your life passions and beliefs. It is an integral component of most successful marriages. This includes self-esteem levels, physical appearance, education levels, family situations and other abilities used to build up a successful relationship.
5. Who will handle the finances?
Money problem is one of the well-known reasons why married couples get divorced. Therefore, ensure yourself that you both are on the same page when it comes to finances. From different spending styles, money conflicts can be a killer to deal with. Money is often tied up with all kinds of emotional importance, and it can carry the weight of its association with everything from freedom to security to power to status. The more you talk about it, the more honest you will be able to be with each other about what you bring to the table in terms of your money attitudes and how they will be resolved.